My husbands comments on the min series "The Bible"

These are various comments Eddie has made during our time watching the mini series "The Bible". I apologize ahead of time if anyone is offended, these comments are his views only.

During one of the old testament episodes: Wait so the Jewish peopel keep getting promises from God but keep making on the same mistakes and getting punished?! Man, not that smart, but then again they do rule the world, or at least Hollywood.

Today on the ride home from running errands: Wait so we only have 2hours left of "The Bible" series and at the end of the last episode Jesus was pretty close to dying so they are gonna take 2 hours to tell that part of the story? To which I replied, No I dont think so, the bible does not end with the death of Jesus. He replies oh really so what else is there to tell? I informed him that the rest of the bible talks about how the disciples went out into the world and established the church. His reply: boooooooring. All I could do was smh and look around for lighting to strike our car from heaven lol.

After that he then asked if they would tell the story of Revelation because they had left out other stories like Jesus turning water into wine. He remarked " did they not want to associate Jesus with wine? You know Jesus was up in Napa Valley drinking wine, he probably started the Kendall Jackson Winery". All I could do was laugh about that one as I also was dissapointed they left out the water into wine miracle story.

international water shenanigans

Eddie & I went on a cruise with family about 2 weeks ago. Not even international waters keep Eddie from acting up.

on night while walking around on the ship he pinched his uncle's butt while walking pass one of the photographers and it made the guy laugh, point, and say out loud "haha you guys are pinching butts". (not like he needs any encouragement).

another night at dinner, one of our tablemates found out I was a pediatrician and said he had a personal question for me which happened to be about the business aspect of the office and as soon as he got his question out eddie chimes in with " oh thank goodness thats your question, I thought you were gonna ask her for a prostate exam".  i'm sure my face turned pretty red.

i married an asshole

so as some of you may know we are traveling to south carolina this week for one of my best friend's wedding. while packing tonight i asked eddie a question about the toiletries and he shifted his attention from staring at the clothes hanging in his closet to give me a hug. in my head i thought ok random moment but maybe he is thanking me for packing all his meds and our toiletries. then i realized there was a funny smell in our closet. yes ladies and gentlemen my husband hugged me just so i could smell his fart. ah what wedded bliss my friend is entering too (lets hope her husband does not also have an obsession with flatulance).

Like uncle, like niece

So last Saturday we spent the day with our niece amanda. Our main activity for the day was to take her to play mini golf. We had a fun time and her and tio both got holes in one. Of course she had us keeping score and about half way through the course she started keeping track of how many strokes I took on one hole. At first we just laughed because a lot of things she does is funny but then the more closely we listened we realized she was heckling me in the exact same manner her uncle used to heckle me when we'd go bowling together. He used to act as if he was a sports announcer and give a play by play to make me mess up. Guess what amanda was doing. Yes, that's right, she also heckled me by trying to sound like an announcer giving the play by play of how many strokes I took to complete the hole. She has never gone bowling with us so she's never had her uncle's example to imitate. We came to the conclusion that it was all in the genes which led me to the conclusion that I'm in for it when we finally have kids of our own....

the lengths some will go through to have certain refreshments at the fair

Last Friday we went to the Miami Dade County Youth Fair to pig out on the food with the majority of the M-Clan. Eddie had planned to bring a flask filled with Zacapa to the fair for us to add to our soda. The nice flask Papo got him as a best man gift came with a funnel for filling purposes however he couldn't find it. I walked into the kitchen and found him filling the flask. Guess he really wanted zacapa that night....

Ahoy Matey

So yesterday while shopping at HomeGoods we saw this woman in the pillow aisle but somehow eddie missed her until we came up behind her in line. He looked at me and said "Seriously?!" I replied "Yep didnt you see her earlier when we were picking out pillows" as I take out my phone to snap a pic. He said "Nope didnt see her. What, does she have a pirate complex?? " As I'm taking the pic he says "Well if she says anything to us I'm gonna say ahoy matey!" I almost lost it laughing, thank goodness the register announcement came on for us to move to register one. SMH

The Nodals need a chef

Suprisingly, its been a long time since Eddie provided any blog material. So tonight I bring you a new post that involves both of us and will probably have you shaking your head at me more than him.

Tonight I was cooking pork chops for dinner. When I was done I removed the pan from the stove and placed it on my tempered glass cutting board. We turned our attention to the sink to drain the macaroni and mix in the ingrediants for the mac and cheese when we heard this loud noise as if something exploded. We turned around and there was glass all over the stove, countertop, and floor. I turned to Edward and asked "omg, what was that?!" He replied that he thinks someone just broke our sliding glass window. He walks all over the broken glass barefoot to leave the kitchen and tells me to go stay in our bedroom because he doesn't know if someone has entered our backyard. So I go to our room and he goes into our office and comes out with his 5 iron in hand. He is going to go investigate what happened while I call the cops. As the operator finishes saying to me "911 whats your emergency?" I hear him screaming, "nevermind, hang up, we dont need 911". So I left our room with 911 still on the line and asked him "why, why did you find". His reply, "what broke was the cutting board". I then tell 911 "nevermind, sorry to bother you."

Yes ladies and gentlemen, apparently the pan was so hot it shattered the cutting board. See exhibit A below. We are now accepting applications for a personal chef.