follow up to diaper change "help"

so after Eddie read my blog he filled me in on his side of the event.

apparently when Isabella pooped on me Eddie said he heard a loud noise follow by me saying oh shit and initially thought I had dropped her. so he sat up in bed bracing himself for the worse. then he heard me yell that she pooped on me and call for him to come help me so he got up and started walking to the nursery. he then had the brilliant idea to go back to turn around and go back to our room to get his phone to video tape me and well you know the rest...

diaper change "help"

As many of you know Isabella was born almost 1 month ago.  Eddie has been great at sharing the parental duties...until this morning. 

I was changing Isabella's soiled diaper and had put on the clean diaper & was applying the diaper cream when a straight shot of poop hit me. I called out for Edward to come help me and as he's walking from our bedroom to the nursery I hear the notification sound from his phone and as I'm about to ask if he really had to check his phone notification before coming to help me he walked into the nursery filming me on his phone. Yesterday he had made a comment about how Isabella needed to poop on me. Before he put down the phone to finally help me he took a close up shot of my PJs with the poop stain. After we washed her off and had a clean diaper on her (in between which she peed on my hand) he sent this text to my sister & his brother & sister in law. 

"Attack of the explosive diaper. Teresa was harmed in the attack but she will eventually recover from her wounds. Her clothing on the other hand might have some permanent scaring".

He gave Isabella a high five before laying her down to go back to sleep. 

Oh & the PJs recovered without scaring.

trial run to the hospital

In honor of my due date being tomorrow here is a little story about the trial run we had to the hospital a few weeks ago.

The night after one of our doctor visits we had to head to the hospital because I had some spotting. Eddie asked if he had time to take a shower and since I figured it would be fast and the doctor didn't sound anxious when I called I said it was ok. While he showered I threw some last minute items into the hospital bag in case we ended up having to stay in the hospital. After about 20-30 minutes had passed I looked up from packing the bag to see Eddie standing at the sink in his towel, trimming his beard. I asked "are you really shaving right now"?? He replied, "I'm not shaving the whole beard off, just fixing the edges". To which I said "I don't know why you are shaving anything right now". After I got him to move along a little faster and we were ready to head to the hospital we couldn't find his car keys. After about 5 minutes of searching I made a suggestion that we just go in my car but he was really worried about not knowing where his car keys were. While all of this was going on I was texting with my sister and another friend and after the car key incident my friend said "Eddie is fired, I'm coming to pick you up." I said "we have two cars! It's not like we are stuck at home because we can't find his car keys. " Finally after about 40 minutes since talking to my doctor we got in my car and left for the hospital and everything turned out to be ok and we got home at 3am to find the car keys wrapped up in the bed sheets.

I've always said that one of the reasons I love Eddie is because he makes me laugh, who knew he'd give me a story and a laugh on the way to the hospital.

Lets see how we do when Isabella decides to make her grand entrance.

he's baaaack

So its been almost 2 years since the last time I wrote in this blog, not that my husband hasn't provided plenty of material. I guess life just got too busy to sit down and pen the outrageous things my husband has said or done, though I do have to say believe it or not he has toned down a bit.

Over the time since the last entry we have had some new people join our group which provided Eddie the opportunity to shock the newcomers. I don't think they are used to it yet (but I don't think any of us really ever get used to his antics).

Last night we went out for a night of bowling with the MClan and someone bought up a story from this past NYE and how eddie fell asleep last night.

Here is some background for you: every year we host a party at our house on NYE. Despite how much my husband may drink that night he always insists on staying up until the backyard and majority of the inside of the house is cleaned up. This year, we had some friends over to help before they left so my husband went upstairs to change into more appropriate clothes for cleaning. After a while I realized he has been gone for a while and I asked if anyone knew where he was. Our friend Danny mentioned that he had gone upstairs to change so I might want to go check on him. So I went upstairs and found him passed out on our bed with the top half of his body on MY side of the bed and the bottom half dangling over the edge (later he would point out to me he only had one sneaker on, apparently he fell asleep in the middle of putting on the other sneaker).

 

 

 

So back to last night...our friend made a comment about a time recently when we had gone out and eddie had drank and asked if he had fallen asleep correctly (which he had) and then his wife asked if he had actually changed into his pajamas or had stayed fully clothed (this time he had changed). Since I am pregnant Eddie took advantage of having a designated driver and drank a few kool aid bowls at splitsville last night. Once we got home, by the time I got upstairs, I found him in the same position as NYE night (except on his side of the bed thank goodness), fully clothed, passed out. I tried waking him up to tell him to get into the bed correctly but only got the same response I normally get when I try to help him out which is "just give me a minute" with this tone of annoyance. About 20 minutes later I tried again and got the same response and I texted our friend's wife "guess who didn't make it into bed completely and is fully clothed'. This morning she responded and said I should start a blog and put a picture of him with a caption. So I informed her that I actually have a blog about Edward's antics and shared the link with her.

 

 

After sharing the link with her and once again getting positive feedback I reread the blog myself and got inspired to start it up again.

 

 

As Edward said last night at dinner to our friends "the stuff I say and do still catches her off guard sometimes, at least she can't say after all these years that she is bored."

 

 

So here's to not being bored. 

My husbands comments on the min series "The Bible"

These are various comments Eddie has made during our time watching the mini series "The Bible". I apologize ahead of time if anyone is offended, these comments are his views only.

During one of the old testament episodes: Wait so the Jewish peopel keep getting promises from God but keep making on the same mistakes and getting punished?! Man, not that smart, but then again they do rule the world, or at least Hollywood.

Today on the ride home from running errands: Wait so we only have 2hours left of "The Bible" series and at the end of the last episode Jesus was pretty close to dying so they are gonna take 2 hours to tell that part of the story? To which I replied, No I dont think so, the bible does not end with the death of Jesus. He replies oh really so what else is there to tell? I informed him that the rest of the bible talks about how the disciples went out into the world and established the church. His reply: boooooooring. All I could do was smh and look around for lighting to strike our car from heaven lol.

After that he then asked if they would tell the story of Revelation because they had left out other stories like Jesus turning water into wine. He remarked " did they not want to associate Jesus with wine? You know Jesus was up in Napa Valley drinking wine, he probably started the Kendall Jackson Winery". All I could do was laugh about that one as I also was dissapointed they left out the water into wine miracle story.

international water shenanigans

Eddie & I went on a cruise with family about 2 weeks ago. Not even international waters keep Eddie from acting up.

on night while walking around on the ship he pinched his uncle's butt while walking pass one of the photographers and it made the guy laugh, point, and say out loud "haha you guys are pinching butts". (not like he needs any encouragement).

another night at dinner, one of our tablemates found out I was a pediatrician and said he had a personal question for me which happened to be about the business aspect of the office and as soon as he got his question out eddie chimes in with " oh thank goodness thats your question, I thought you were gonna ask her for a prostate exam".  i'm sure my face turned pretty red.

i married an asshole

so as some of you may know we are traveling to south carolina this week for one of my best friend's wedding. while packing tonight i asked eddie a question about the toiletries and he shifted his attention from staring at the clothes hanging in his closet to give me a hug. in my head i thought ok random moment but maybe he is thanking me for packing all his meds and our toiletries. then i realized there was a funny smell in our closet. yes ladies and gentlemen my husband hugged me just so i could smell his fart. ah what wedded bliss my friend is entering too (lets hope her husband does not also have an obsession with flatulance).